I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “kindness counts”. I think we’ve all heard that from time to time, especially during the holidays. Holidays are falling far behind now, so moving forward, a gentle reminder that kindness does indeed count is needed.
I am nowhere near the wisest, the smartest, or the most experienced person on the planet. I’m not even the wisest, the smartest, or the most experienced in my own household! But I have learned a thing or two in my numerous trips around our sun. One of the most important things that I have learned is this: people who have had terrible things done to them are often the kindest. They know how awful cruelty feels so they choose kindness instead. And that’s the real secret here, folks: you have to choose kindness. Kindness is not a muscle or a feature. It’s a choice. It’s as much a choice to be kind as it is a choice in which outfit to wear. It’s that simple. It’s a decision. You get up in the morning, you drink your coffee or juice, you do whatever it is that you do to prepare for your day ahead, and you make that choice. Choose kindness over cruelty.
We are bombarded with ‘bad’ news. It’s everywhere. It’s in the headlines, it’s in the family text thread, it’s from our neighbors. Bad news is everywhere. But so is good news. Imagine how the day would play out if most of the news coverage was about all of the good things happening in the world. I was raised to not ‘air my grievances’, so often, when asked how I am or what I have been up to, I reply with the good things that have been happening. However, good news is sometimes not welcome by those who haven’t made their all-important decision yet for the day. I’ve relayed my good news to have it met with sneers; I’ve even had people go so far as accusing me of bragging about my ‘accomplishments’. News flash, folks! I would rather hear about the good things going on in your life than what a terrible day you’ve had. I want to hear about your promotions, your awards, your new car, or whatever it is that makes you happy. I want to hear about the good in your life.
Choosing kindness can be a difficult choice. It can make us feel like we are being walked over when we choose to meet adversity with kindness instead of hostility. I am not a rug. I do not want to be traipsed upon. I will let you in on another secret: kindness is not weakness. I’m going to repeat that because this is so very important: kindness is not weakness. It takes more courage and strength to walk away from a bad situation than to stay and sling hatred at one another. It’s easy to place blame on others; it’s hard to take accountability. Sometimes it’s easy to be kind to others, but not extend that same kindness to one’s ownself. Be kind to yourself. Take a break when you need one. Take care of your health. And for the love of all that is holy, drink some water!
My grandfather was drafted right out of high school during World War II. As soon as he finished boot camp, he was sent to the front lines in Italy. He spent the rest of the war over there fighting. Even as a young man dropped amidst the cruelties of war, he chose kindness. He would trade his cigarette rations for chocolate bars. Any time he came across children in the war strewn land of Italy, he gave them the chocolate. Just that simple act of kindness brightened the days of terrified, often starving, children. He remained kind too. My grandpa was a big man. He was tall and strong. He was my best friend, my protector, and my hero. I spent every moment that I could with him, even when I was an adult. I never once heard my grandpa yell at someone. I never once heard him speak ill of another human being. And I never saw him get angry. I asked him about this once. His response left an impression so strong on me that I have tried to model myself after him. He replied that he had seen too many hardships in this life. Too many cruel and degrading acts and too much cruelty. He refused to add to it. He chose kindness. He still felt anger and disdain, but he chose not to act upon them. I choose that too. I choose kindness over cruelty. I’m not perfect. I’m not even close to perfection. I have road rage, I swear like a sailor (sorry if you are a sailor and don’t swear), but I try to treat my fellow human beings with kindness. Cruelty is an epidemic of global proportions. Don’t add to the sickness. Add to the cure, kindness. During these cruel times, especially during these times, be part of the people that respond with kindness. Give that person who is aggravating you a little grace. Let that car merge even though they waited until the very last minute. Give yourself some grace as well. Respond to yourself with kindness. Choose kindness to yourself and others.
Never forget that kindness isn’t weakness. It’s the truest form of strength.
Photo by Adam Nemeroff on Unsplash
Rio L. Barney is an author of all things fantasy with a dash of horror and sci-fi mixed in. When not trekking through the wilds of Utah with her husband and three children, she can be found hacking away at a computer, often laughing at her own jokes. She loves to stare at the stars and dig in the dirt while attempting to grow anything and everything in the heavy clay of Utah County. Born and raised in Lehi, she has traveled the world only to return to her hometown. You can find her on Facebook as Rio Barney and Instagram @barneyrio